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FEATURE STORY

Humans of Bangkok: Bhanond (O) Kumsubha

May 15, 2017


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To commemorate , the World Bank partnered with  to create a series of inspiring stories to acknowledge, honor, and celebrate the families and relationships that LGBTI people have, created, or chosen, in all their diversity, in Thailand. 

¡°Both my parents are teachers. They both have pretty high expectations of me to perform well at school and be a good kid. When I was in primary school in Lopburi province, I was like the ¡®perfect¡¯ child they want to have. Even though I¡¯m pretty outgoing and enjoy dancing at school events, I don¡¯t think it ever crossed their minds, and they probably thought it¡¯s what all kids do.¡±

¡°Even back then, I started to have feelings for other boys. I was already quite different from the other boys who liked to play sports as I liked to read. One day, at a public library, I accidently stumbled upon a short story about gay men. It was the first time in my life to find out that this type of relationship even exists.¡±

¡°During middle school, I wanted to have a girlfriend because I saw other boys going out with girls. So I started approaching girls and had a girlfriend, but at the same time, I had feelings for other guys. I even secretly bought an adult men¡¯s picture book. It was a very confusing stage for me and I had no idea who to talk to.¡±

¡°In high school, I moved to the city of Lopburi and lived with my grandmother. I had more freedom and it became clearer to me about who I liked. I had a boyfriend but lied to my parents when we hung out that we were just doing class assignments. I went out with him one day and came back pretty late. My dad called. I decided to come clean because I didn¡¯t want to lie any more. As soon as they found out, they drove all the way to grandma¡¯s house. I talked to mom. We had a heated argument. She asked me ¡®why do you have to be like this?¡¯ I tried to explain to them, ¡®This is who I am. I told you the truth because I was worried and I don¡¯t want to lie anymore.¡¯ After that my dad and I had a talk. He asked me if I wanted to see a doctor. During that time, the media was already saying that being gay is not an illness. I tried to explain and told my dad, ¡®I know what it¡¯s like to be gay.¡¯ He replied dismissively, ¡®So you¡¯re telling me that you are more experienced and not listening to us anymore?¡¯ No, it was never my intention to communicate like this.¡±

¡°That was the last time we ever talked about it. I went to university, carried on with my normal life as a gay person, had a partner, and started to introduce the person I was dating to my mom though I was saying that we¡¯re friends. I guessed she knew anyway. When we broke up, my mom would ask if I¡¯m no longer seeing this person. 4-5 years ago, for the same old reason that I didn¡¯t want to lie anymore, I decided to tell my mom about my partner. There were no harsh words from her. She only asked for his phone number just in case she couldn¡¯t reach me.¡±

 ¡°My parents grew up at a time when being LGBTI wasn¡¯t acceptable and they probably never encountered anything like this. So they panicked and worried because they couldn¡¯t see what kind of future I could have. Maybe it was because I was still a kid then too. Now that I¡¯ve grown up and they see me settling down with a good career, I must have eased their anxiety and worries. I¡¯m not sure if they talk about it with each other, but these days the tensions have really cleared up.¡±



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